A few motivational motivators.

Those of you that know me well enough know that I likey me some sarcasm. It's healthy.
I made the hubby put drying racks in my otherwise boring laundry room for this reason and this reason only. You short people just don't get it.

I have this problem and I am not afraid to admit it. I have come so far and I need to remember that daily. Wait! Is GOTTEN even a real word?

Pretty to the point. I could change it to SHUT UP AND TRI. Then I would need to get me a suit, some goggles and some nerves in order to splash around in a lake somewhere, get out, run a race and then bike some crazy long distance. Oh. I guess I would need bike, too. I don't think the oldest would let me use sweet her Barbie ride. Although the bell might come in handy...

This has been a great reminder in our home. Except it kinda looses it's effect when one of the kids screams, then I scream back, my ears still ringing, "EXCUSE ME! IS THERE A FIRE?"

Thou shalt not whine.

Well, I am knee deep in week numero cuatro of my metabolic plan. A quick recap of last week: I almost gave up. Yes ladies and {those very few} gentlemen who read my blog, I was one more "Oh mom, your belly is kinda big!" comment away from quitting. Choking. Giving up. Surrendering. White flaggin' it. Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Then, the more and more and more I thought about quitting, I realized that I've never really quit anything in my life. And I wasn't ready to start now.

See, I told myself that I wouldn't step on the scale for the twelve weeks of my metabolic training plan. I just didn't want to play that mental game with myself. But three weeks into my program and my jeans didn't fit, then my jacket was getting tight around my arms, then my second-oldest daughter says to me the other night with her hand on my stomach, "Mom, I'm so excited. I just love babies!" Hold up. Stop. The. Train. "Momma's not having another baby, sweetheart." "Well," she said, "It's just getting bigger." I let that brutally honest conversation sink in for approximately three seconds before I jumped up off the couch, grabbed the AA batteries I had taken out of my scale a few weeks earlier, popped them in and stepped on. What I saw next kinda freaked me out. I really had nowhere to go. My husband already told me, "If you are in, be in. 100%. No complaining. No whining. No matter what happens." Hmmmm. Can't talk to him about gaining 12 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks. Who's next? Oh right. My boss. He's the one that took my tests. He's the one that also told me that I might gain weight at the start of the program. He can help me! So, here's what filled up his inbox a few minutes later. {I remember my mom telling me over and over again in high school, "Never, ever ever act or speak when you are emotional about something! You will make bad even worse!" I don't know if it's just a chick problem, but when the heck am I going to learn this lesson?}

O.k. Dan. When you started this whole metabolic thing, I bet you weren't expecting all of these crybaby e-mails. Well, here comes another one!!!!!! I did the unthinkable this morning. I stepped on the scale. Now, before you roll your eyes or start laughing, I went an entire three weeks without weighing myself. That's a first. But after this week, I got really scared. Well, last night was the tip of the iceberg when my second oldest looked at me, put her hand on my belly and said, "Ahhhh, I love babies." That's when I knew I was in trouble. So, 172. That puts me up 12-13 pounds in 3 1/2 short weeks. That is totally unheard of! What the heck is going on? I mean 6-7 pounds maybe, but close to 15 is making it quite hard to get the jeans on in the morning. I understand the science and totally get it, I just don't get what my body is doing. I think it mostly scares me....I've shed 100+ pounds by not doing any of the things I am doing now. I've never counted calories, never spent anytime below a 150 heart rate. So there is 1/2 of me who wonders how the heck is this weight going to come off? My 30 minute run yesterday felt like I was a load. Carrying alot of baggage. I'm not a visionary woman, but that extra baggage will make it quite difficult for me to run faster than I was last year. And then I start to think, I was just fine last year! I don't need to get faster, especially if I have to add 15 pounds in order to accomplish it. So, I really, really appreciate all of your help but please help me stay motivated!

I whined. I whined like the best of them. I may have even whined better than my own kids! Ahhhh...I hate when my kids whine. Well, my pity party didn't last long. Here's my butt kickin'!

I’m really tired of hearing about people who don’t see results in their workouts and their nutrition stinks. So I started to push this {metabolic training} because if you do things right, results are guaranteed 100%. What you are experiencing is NOT totally unheard of. It means that you are not tracking your intake correctly or that you are eating the wrong things – I haven’t even gotten in to that part yet (the what to eat part).The other thing is that you don’t understand the science behind it. I haven’t even begun to explain it to people yet, I have only explained about one tenth of what I know. You think that the presentations that I did was a lot of information? That’s only the beginning of what I know. If you understood it then you would know exactly why you have gained weight and exactly what kind of weight it is and exactly how to take it off properly. You should be Netting somewhere around your RMR, and 85-90% of your caloric intake for the day should take place before dinner. You can’t “save” calories for the end of the day, that’s one of the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard (I say that because I heard people talking about that the other day and that’s NOT how it works).That means that if you KNOW you are going to burn 800 calories in a workout that you need to PLAN to eat 1850 (or whatever your RMR is) plus about 700-800 more so about 2600 or so. People do see initial weight gain from this but if weight gain is excessive which it seems in your case, then in my experience, 100% of the time it is the person not tracking correctly or they don’t know what portions are and are having two or three portions but only counting calories for one portion.You won’t be the weight you are now in the competition phase of the training plan, we’re in the base phase (another thing that people don’t understand). So you’re right, I don’t need another email or message from someone because people have to be PATIENT!!!! Do you think that 3 1/2 weeks is patience as far as this goes? Everyone is different – for some people it takes well over a year for their body to adapt. It initially took me 10 months. So you have to be PATIENT!!!!!!!! I will help motivate you but you have to keep going and you have to figure out if you are truly tracking your intake correctly or not and then take a good look at what it is that you are choosing to eat. I’ll help with that if you want. Let me know. End of story.

There is something about brutal honestly that gets me fired up. It kinda takes me back to my college basketball playing days when I would mess up, get benched, get yelled at for my obvious dumb mistake, then get thrown back into the fight. I never really remember going back on the court feeling sheepish. I was ready to try again. I never gave up. So, with all the whining aside, I am ready to be patient. Oh, but my jeans are fitting pretty nicely today. And, I took the batteries back out of my scale. Those two things alone will help me get through these last eight weeks. And there isn't a white flag in sight.

Slurpin' fun.

So, after years of not caring, we now care. Wait. That sounds so blunt. I mean, we (I'm talking about me and the hubs here) care about a lot of things. We are almost borderline passionate about some things. Like hamburgers. And sports. But we've never really cared about our teeth. And why the heck would we? They just kinda are what they are. They come in when we are babies, fall out during grade school and then again when Depends show up on the shopping list. But let me just say this, after you see an x-ray of your head and actually see what those bad boys are doing inside of your jaw, you may start to care. I am typing this with spacers in between four of my back molars. It basically feels like there are thousands of popcorn hulls stuck between my teeth. And if my quick research on Wiki is reliable, this is done to space out a nice cozy spot for the anchors to fit. The anchors are the things that get tightened at appointments. The fun stuff. The fun stuff that causes headaches. So, I am a week behind the hubs in my treatment plan. He stumbled out of bed this morning in hopes that I would call in sick for him. He got his braces on yesterday. See, he actually needed braces. Poor guy. It was medically necessary otherwise a toothless grin was more than likely in his near future. Thank you military base dentists. So I told him, thinking he would chicken out, "Hun, if you do it, I will be right there with ya." Now, I am the one starting to make chicken noises. I feel for kids who go through this. Who go to the orthodontist and then off to school. Eeeewww. Ouch. With their stellar genes, our kids will be there soon enough. They actually think mom and dad are pretty cool right now. Wait until momma comes home next week with hot pink bands on her bottom row of metal. Oh yeah, you know that's right. Well, all this tightening of the bling creates a problem when trying to stick to a metabolic plan. One where consuming 2,700 + calories a day is required. Do you honestly know how hard that is without eating tortilla chips, soft candy, hard nuts or Twizzlers? But, you gotta do what you gotta do. So, I did some digging and found some smoothie recipes. I just tried this bad boy out for lunch. Yum. Pure yum. I could get kinda used to this soft diet routine if it involves smoothies like this. Give it a try. I'm sure it's delicious with or without braces.

Banana Peanut Butter Smoothie

1/4 C peanut butter

2 TBs honey

1/2 C ice

1 C milk (I used almond milk)

1 medium banana

Mix in blender for 30 seconds. Serves 2. Per serving: 356 calories; 4 g saturated fat; 13 g unsaturated fat; 6 mg cholesterol; 43 g carbs; 202 mg sodium; 13 g protein; 3.5 g fiber.

It's not easy being loved.

I believe that each day needs a little morsel of motivation behind it. And no, I'm not talking about the chocolate chip ones that come out of the bag. Even though, those are pretty yummy motivators. Anway, I'm fairly convinced that without motivation, life just passes us by and then one day whamo! Before you know it the hubby is pushing you into an Active Older Adults exercise class in your wheelchair. I'm having this vision of my husband pushing the back of my chair towards the ground so that I would be doing a wheelie. He would be yelling, "Woah cowgirl! Take 'er easy!" He's just that kind of guy. Anyway, life needs purpose. It needs direction. It needs meaning. Without these three things, you might as well just stay in bed and let life keep going on without you. And that's exactly what I didn't do this morning. Because I have a plan {a goal} that I am sticking to right now. And, quite honestly, because if I don't get my workout in before 7am, it's just not gonna happen that day. So, my point. Motivation+purpose+direction+meaning=you can basically do whatever you put your mind to. However, when one of these items suddenly falls out of the equation, it's a slippery slope to dead-goals land. What can you possibly do in life with motivation but without purpose? How about meaning without motivation? You can have a purpose for your goal but without direction, your path is quite dark and dreary. Each day is a blessing to do some good. I've had a few experiences over the last couple weeks that have helped me realize the great significance of living a grand life from day to day. A life of purpose and meaning. I am grateful for those personal reminders. Now, to end on a humorous note, today's inspiration came from my second-oldest child who brought this sweet Valentine home from kindergarten. Can you translate it? Hint: the 6th word is HAVING.

Ha! I love it. Seriously laughed my butt off reading this today. And do every time I read it....You are welcome, Lillsters. You are welcome.

Dos.

We live in such a funny world. It's so fast and furious. Yesterday I made myself my own little mini-vacation just to try to get way from it all. I turned our living room couch towards the south-facing windows so the sun would shine on my Minnesota-pale face. I started the dishwasher to simulate the sound of ocean waves. Then, I took a nap. And what came of this? A reality check. See, we want everything so dang fast these days. The problem is, we can pretty much get what we want when we want it. We have supercenter grocery stores, shopping malls, credit cards, the Internet. What we need (or want) is usually within a short reach. But then, we want something that we can't grab right away. Something that is going to take some time. And all of a sudden, we get all pouty and sad. Disappointed. Frustrated. Take Veruca Salt, for example. All that poor girl wanted was a golden goose, for Heaven's sakes. Then, she gets a bit carried way and her needs suddenly include things like balloons and baboons. I, like Veruca, want something. It's an odd something. Something not too many other people in the world want. Ironically enough, I want to get faster. Wait. Wasn't I just trying to escape the fast by making my own cheap 30-minute living room vacation? Yeah, kinda. But the fast I need is through running. And, according to my metabolic plan, I am going to have to wait eleven more weeks to find improvement. Just improvement, folks. Not perfection. Improvement in my times. Improvement in my overall fitness. I am in week two of my twelve-week off season metabolic training plan. My body is going through some funky kind of "you haven't been treating me very nicely over the last couple of years" backlash. The proof is in the pudding (Oh, yummy decedent chocolate pudding with whipped cream on top and a few graham crackers for crunch): If you do not feed your body properly while training for some fun event, you may do alright. You may even PR. However, you won't be doing your absolute best. And that's what I want to do. My own personal bestest best. So, even though this is going to be a long process, I am committed. Kinda like these kids are. 'Cause the best things come to those who wait.

I'm actually diggin' this.

I remember way back in the day when I was a kid, driving from the Chicagoland area to northern Minnesota for our family vacations. My mom's parents owned a small a-frame cabin on a beautiful lake. I remember a lot of things from those wonderful summer trips. How teasing became an art form in the back of the Chevrolet Celebrity wagon. How no matter what deep sleep mode you were in, a bat flying around your head always woke you up. How watching grandpa tap his toes to the Lawrence Welk Show never got old. How sand just got everywhere. How smores never tasted bad. I didn't want those vacations to end. They were dreamy. Heavenly. Never a dull moment. So, fast forward twenty years. Wow. A lot has happened since then. To spare you the details, I went to high school (where I incidentally met my husband), went to college, my parents moved to Minnesota, got married, worked, had a baby, moved from Salt Lake to the middle of no man's land (that's Ohio for those of you that don't know), had more kids and missed my family somewhat terribly. So, we started looking for jobs. And here we are today! In Minnesota once again. So, to all of you who ridiculed us when news spread that we were moving to the Land of 10,000 Lakes, mocked us, told us to pack our parkas, asked if we were going to take up ice fishing, to you I now have the pleasure of saying, "No, you go pack YOUR parka!" Just briefly take a peek at this. That's right haters. It's nice here in Minne-soooooo-ta! The only dusting of snow we have had this winter is, as I type, melting it's way down the drains. Momma's dusting off the outside running gear 'cause early Thursday morning looks like a nice time to get after it. True, not every year is this pleasant. As a quick reminder, this happened last winter. So, we take what we can get around here in the weather department. For runners, it couldn't be better. Those with nice shiny expensive snowmobiles and decked-out ice houses may be getting a bit angry with Mother Nature at this point. Whatever the case, I think Minnesota is a pretty swell place to live.

Is that what you think?

On my way home from the gym this morning, I briefly listened to a radio station contest called "Shut up if...." Kinda lame, however one of the contestants texted in with this winner, "Shut up if you are a stay at home mom and sit in the spa all day and get your nails done every week." Huh. Interesting. So.....where are the kids when all this is happening? And, can it really be this persons ideology that stay at home moms are sitting in spas all day? Well, let me tell you one thing. I am a stay at home mom and I bite my nails. A very, very, very bad long standing habit of mine. So, I obviously don't get my little stubs manicured every week. As for the spa? What would I do there? My second toe is freakishly longer then my big toe (my dad says that's why I am so athletically advanced) so I'll save myself the embarrassment of getting a pedicure. My face breaks out every month no matter what divine facial mask I put on it, I am ok with having wrinkly skin and I have been trying to grow out my hair for the last year. Ponytails win! However, I do have a little stay at home mom secret. As of today, I have figured out how to master the laundry. No, really. I have a system. A brilliant system. It's so brilliant that I should patent it. Can I even do that? Can you patent a process? Who knows. Anyway, I've tried everything over the last 10 years of being married and having kid, after kid, after kid, after kid. That's four kids, right? I lost count.....Laundry twice a week, laundry once a week, wash all of the laundry in one day, just to have it sit in a mountain on my bedroom floor for a week until the entire cycle starts over again. Blah. O.k. Are you ready for the secret? Oh, gosh. It's too good. Maybe I should keep it to myself? Na, I'm in a good mood. Plus, if I want my kids to share, I better set a good example, right? Wait for it..............................

"DO A LOAD OF LAUNDRY EVERY SINGLE DAY"

Oh yeah, baby! That's the ticket! Do a load every day. Kinda sounds too easy. Well, I can't take credit for this entire stroke of plain genius. Last night, while our good ole' happy family was hastily trying to fold and put away 6+loads of laundry, I asked, "Wow, guys. How can we make this easier?" And my super-cool, way cute advanced lean process engineer husband pipes in with, "Batch production. That will make it easier. First get rid of the waste (in his mind waste would be 95% of all the kids' clothes) then batch your production. Keep on task and the task won't become too overwhelming." Then he gave me an example of a bakery (my ears were suddenly hearing words like warm white bread and frosted donuts).

So, this morning I took on the challenge and like any normal human being would do, I went to Target. Blasted place. Target steals all of my money!!! After searching and searching, then breaking into an unpaid box of Clif Bars, I bought me one of these and six little cute fabric bins to go inside. I wrote six names on six bins and that was that. See proof below.

Yeah, I know what you are thinking. "Those little bins are too small. They won't hold that much stuff." Yes! Yes! Yes! That is exactly the point. If you do a load of laundry every single day, there's no need for huge laundry baskets invading the free space left on your closet floor. In theory, this is how it's going to work. Everyone in the fam has a bin. That bin goes upstairs from the laundry room at night (Yep, we own a three level townhome. What goes up or down must go the oppostite direction three flights at a time), collects what needs washed, then gets taken downstairs in the morning as part of our family's regular before school routine. What's clean heads back upstairs the next evening to be folded (The two older girls are on their own here....nothing is folded in their drawers anyway so why should I waste my precious time folding laundry that will soon be unfolded?) and the process continues. The trial period? Two weeks should be good. After that, we will know for sure if this sweet idea is here to stay. Come on now! Isn't this brilliant? If implemented in all homes, the world would be a much happier place. Because as we all know, if mom ain't happy, nobody's happy. The only downside? Loss of revenue at many spas and nail salons. "Kids, momma's not going to the spa today. There's a load of laundry to do!"